


new perspective

by hysteries



Series: beginning middle end (dimension 20 alphabet 2021) [4]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Campaign 03 Season 01: The Unsleeping City, Daydreaming, F/M, Pining, Ricky Matsui is a hottie and so is Esther!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:22:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29701896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hysteries/pseuds/hysteries
Summary: In the dark of the Clinton Hill Chantry, Esther and Ricky pour over books about Robert Moses and try not to pour their hearts out to each other. It's a lot harder than it sounds.
Relationships: Ricky Matsui/Esther Sinclair
Series: beginning middle end (dimension 20 alphabet 2021) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179170
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31
Collections: Dimension 20 Alphabet 2021





	new perspective

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Dimension 20 Alphabet 2021 collection. My prompt today was **(day)dream** and the title was taken from _New Perspective_ by Panic at the Disco. 
> 
> Of course I was going to push my Ricky/Esther agenda during this challenge. I looove them so much! I wrote an entire Big Bang fic about them being kind and gentle with each other, but that's not all there is to them. Esther represses her attraction to Ricky for months, if not years! They share close quarters and intimate situations a bunch of times during the campaign! She's an incredibly powerful wizard, but she can't even let herself kiss the guy who's obviously in love with her! She has to be losing her mind a little bit. I love her and I love them so much and maybe this is my way of coping with TUC S2 right now since I don't know where she's at! 
> 
> **TW** for non-explicit sexual references

“Esther?”

Don’t do it, she tells herself. Don’t look at him. Keep your eyes on the page. “Yes?”

“You just sighed.”

Fuck. She looks up.

“Really loud,” he adds, and Esther’s sure he thinks it’s helpful, but it’s not. “Kind of like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

 _Actually_ , she wants to say _, I was thinking about having the weight of you on me_. Except there’s no way in a million years that Esther would ever possibly say that out loud to anyone, let alone to Ricky Matsui. No matter how tight his sweater’s hugging his pecs right now.

She’s gotta keep it together.

It’s been like this ever since the Broadway Battle (“Brawl,” Sofie had said, “I like brawl better.”) and Ricky’s onstage debut. In the heat of the moment, Esther had barely even noticed him. She was too busy trying to save the world, or at least Misty Moore. But now that the world’s safe for the time being, and Misty is Rowan, Esther can’t stop playing the entire night back in her head. Or really, one aspect of it.

Why did he have to get naked? Why did he think that was something that happened on Broadway? And why did he look so fucking good without his clothes on?

Ricky Matsui is an attractive guy. Esther knows this. Has known this, ever since the first time Alejandro walked him through the doors and she’d almost spilled her coffee all over them both. He was like a model, or like a Barbie Doll come to life. Entirely too perfect to be real.

She hadn’t realized he was incredibly hot on top of all that until she watched him gyrate and grind against Misty.

And of course, now, she can’t get it out of her head.

“I’m just thinking,” she answers after a beat. “Some of this stuff’s pretty wordy, even for me.”

“Yeah right.” Ricky flashes her a grin. “You know everything.”

Truth is, she hasn’t read a single word in the past ten minutes. She’s been too busy thinking about him. They’re wedged together in the Clinton Hill Library, sharing a table overlaid with books. It’s late. So late that Alejandro and the twins have gone home. So late that, in the quiet, all Esther can hear is Ricky’s breathing. The two of them, the library, a table.

Briefly, an image flashes across her mind. Ricky using one arm to (responsibly) swipe the books away and grabbing her with the other. Putting Esther down against the cool wooden tabletop and then ripping off that stupid sweater. He’d be so warm underneath it, and move up her body with the same focus he’s been giving his book. That same smile he’s wearing now pressed against her jaw, her neck, her skin.

It’s way too much.

“No, I don’t,” she asserts, voice sharper than she means. But he stops smiling, and at least that wipes the whole scene from Esther’s head.

“Sure,” he replies. His voice is as soft as ever, even after she shut him down.

She’s confused. He seems to be too. It’s fine. They can both stand to be a little confused.

After another stretch of awkward silence, Esther asks, “Should we get back to it?”

He nods and she looks back down at the words on the page. It’s a history of Times Square, or maybe a geographical survey of Manhattan; she has no fucking clue. Ricky’s breathing is even and steady again, and it’s so quiet that she can feels like he’s right next to her instead of across the table.

 _Do you want to get out of here_? She pictures him saying against her throat before he picks her up like it’s nothing. She wonders how it would feel to be pressed up against him. What he would smell like. If his breathing would sound the same, still, with her head against his chest.

Unbidden, the memory of Broadway comes back to her. Ricky’s bright smile and dimples lighting up the stage. He looked so stupidly hot. Better than any actor Esther’d ever seen onstage. Better than anyone she’d ever seen in anything ever. And she’d tried so hard not to objectify him, to be a good team mate and a responsible leader, but it was hard when all of him was just… there. Sweaty and shining and with dimples deep in places other than his cheeks.

God, she's a mess.

But God, she can't get him out of her head. He’d be gentle if she kissed him. She knows that as well as she’s known anything. Ricky’s always sweet and gentle. She’s willing to bet that he’s never done a single aggressive thing in her life. No, Esther would have to be the aggressor. She’d be the one to plant her lips against his, the one to press her tongue against his skin, the one to straddle him and blow his mind. _Esther_ , he’d say, pupils dilated and hair a mess, _Esther_.

“Uh… Esther?”

Fuck.

“Hmm?”

“You just —” Ricky breathes in and then makes a sound that sounds almost like a groan. It’s the opposite of hot. “Are you sure you’re okay? It could be like, an air filtration thing.”

“I’m not _congested_.” Is there a less sexy word in the world? While Esther’s been fantasizing about Ricky, he’s been worrying about the mucus in her nasal cavities. That’s her luck. “Or,” she softens her tone, noticing the frown he’s sporting. This is Ricky the Civic-Minded, and he’s worried. Worried about her. “It could be a little dry in here.”

“That’s what I thought. You guys should really invest in a humidifier.”

“The books —” Esther starts. There’s temperature and climate to consider, not to mention she doesn’t want to mess with anything about the building without Alejandro’s advice.

“But we can’t do anything about that now,” Ricky finishes. The frown that’s pulling on his lips stops tugging so insistently. “Except… do you want to grab a pot of tea?”

“Yes.” Esther answers immediately. Anything to get her out of this cramped little corner with Ricky and his breathing and that sweater. Anything to give her hands something to do.

His frown blossoms into another brilliant smile.

“Awesome,” he replies, bobbing his head. “Did you want to finish your page, or what?”

“Nope.” She forces a smile and stands up. Her chair squeaks an unpleasant sound as she kicks it back. “I’m good.”

“Man, you really need a break, huh?” Ricky winks, and the gesture sends heat up her neck. She can’t process this right now. Won’t think about him winking in any other context.

“Long night,” she manages to get out. Which is true enough.

She leaves her book and scoots past the table. On her way into the aisle, she almost bumps into Ricky, but catches herself before they can touch. There’s something in the air tonight. If she starts to touch him now, Esther’s a little afraid that she won’t want to stop. Instead, she pivots around him. They’re close, close enough to touch, but Esther won’t be the one to make the move.

She looks up at him. “Sorry about that.”

Their eyes meet, and he’s right there, and he smells a little like —

“No worries! Just, uh, watch your step,” he pipes up, but he sounds a little gruffer now. A little like Esther a minute ago.

If she kissed him now, he would kiss her back. She’s like, 98 percent sure of it.

Instead, Esther does what she does best. Nods and goes, “So, find anything yet?”

She walks forward and, without waiting for an answer, launches into the research that she did yesterday. Numbers and magic and all that. Down to the raw data, all the boring stuff that nobody wants to know. Anything to keep her head (and her mouth) clear of Ricky Matsui.

And as she hears him hum out cute sounds of agreement behind her, she realizes it isn’t working out all.


End file.
